Harbor-9: Tidebreak Run

The prose has punch and the sequences are cinematic, but the excerpt raises pacing and logic questions for me. The beats jump from a rooftop sprint to market delivery to hints of a citywide conspiracy very quickly — it’s exciting, sure, but it sometimes reads like a checklist of genre staples rather than a story building naturally. A few specifics stuck out: Jae’s thirty-second timing and the ‘two minutes’ back-and-forth felt implausibly neat every time — it would help to see one messy run to ground him. Also, the corporate scheme to ‘cripple the tidal gate’ is a big claim; I’m expecting clearer exposition of how and why a corp would risk mass flooding (profit? land grabs?), because the moral economics of that plan will make or break the antagonist’s credibility. Good on atmosphere and character beats (Keisha’s hardware bench is delightfully specific), but needs more connective tissue in plotting.

I wanted to like this more than I did. The setting and action are solid — the opening roof run and the sensory details (salted lips, wet tar, chives) are vivid — but the excerpt leans on familiar beats: the missing sister, the retired mechanic as sidekick, the corporate plot to flood the lower city. It all feels a little by-the-numbers so far. Characters get sharp lines, but I’m left wanting more nuance: why does Keisha keep favors instead of cash? What made Jae pick parkour as a life? The threat (drowning the Lower Harbor) is dramatic, but the corporate motive wasn't sketched strongly enough in this excerpt to feel original. Nice action set pieces, but I’d like deeper stakes and fewer genre clichés before I’m fully sold.

Okay, this is flat-out fun. Parkour + drones + corporate sabotage = my jam. Loved the little smirks in the dialogue — “You’re late” / “Thirty seconds” — feels like real banter between pros. The satchel of sea urchin roe? Chef’s kiss. 😏 The city is a character too: cranes like skeletal arms, gulls in the sky, a market spine that smells of curry and diesel. The grip-glove and the missing sister hook give it enough heart to stop it from being just a shiny chase sequence. If you want gritty, rainy rooftops and tense runs across skybridges, this nails it. Can’t wait to see the Gate Spine fight.

Clean, lean, and vivid. The story wastes no time dropping you into Harbor-9: you feel the salt, hear the cranes, and you’re immediately with Jae on those roofs. The Keisha exchange was a lovely beat — small, efficient, and character-revealing (sea urchin roe as payment is a nice touch). I also liked the hints of larger stakes — North Spine closures, Gate Spine threats — which promise a bigger conspiracy beyond courier runs. Short, sharp, and atmospheric. Looking forward to more.

This is a tight, tech-forward urban thriller that handles physical action and atmosphere with equal skill. The parkour sequences read like choreography — the gap gauge, the scuffed landings, the rubber soles whispering — and they never feel gratuitous because each move ties to Jae’s goals (deliver the satchel, get parts, uncover a plot). I appreciate how the excerpt layers world-building into sensory moments: diesel and wet earth, gulls knifing the sky, vendors shouting. The cast is promising: Keisha as a no-nonsense drone pilot, the hinted retired mechanic, and the absent but present sister with the magnetic grappling glove all suggest a team dynamic ready to explode. Stylistically, the prose balances kinetic verbs with quieter beats (the chives, the steel pan music), which keeps pacing rhythmic rather than frantic. My only wish from the excerpt is for a little more on the corporate antagonist’s modus operandi — but that’s a small gripe. Great setup for a near-future action yarn.

I loved this. The opening rooftop chase made my stomach do a flip — that line about the wind off the strait salting Jae’s lips and then him trusting the city’s rhythm over his breath is just gorgeous. The world feels lived-in: chives on a rooftop garden, BOLTHOUSE MARKET’s flaking blue letters, the ferry’s wake — small, tactile details that sell the megacity as a functioning place, not just a backdrop. Keisha’s van with storm-cloud paint and the micro-drone parts made their partnership feel honest and earned. The magnetic grappling glove and the missing diver sister give Jae real stakes beyond adrenaline; when the text hints at the Gate Spine and a plan to drown the Lower Harbor, the tension spikes in a way that kept me turning pages. Emotional, fast, and full of atmosphere — a thrilling urban ride.